


Still Water

by lancesexual (Badgers)



Series: Lots of Ocean Metaphors [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Autistic Keith (Voltron), Fluff, It's tagged mature because there are vague references to sexual activity, Lance (Voltron) Has ADHD, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Trans Lance (Voltron), Trans Male Character, all characters are 18+, he's so amazing, hunk has anxiety, hunk is a really good boyfriend FUCK, it's a slew of neurodivergence y'all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-29 05:16:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11433912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Badgers/pseuds/lancesexual
Summary: Lance had too much of himself to give, but Hunk never held it against him."It's not, like, evil to love more than one person. As long as everyone's happy and the relationship is equal, you can love as many people as you need."Three years later, in the unforgiving loneliness of space, he kept Hunk's words close to his heart. He whispered them in his mind every time Keith looked at him.





	Still Water

**Author's Note:**

  * For [coatofflowers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coatofflowers/gifts).



> Hello! This is a birthday fic for Finn, who deserves soft klunk and a million hugs! The art is by @rose-madder-gaze on tumblr, so pls be sure to check them out, they're so talented holy fuck. anyway, here u go

Lance fell in love often.

The first time was when he was six, and a girl in his class was being bullied by a few of the other kids. Lance had yelled at them, told them all to go away or he'd tell the teacher they were being mean, and after all of them had scampered away in the face of that threat, she'd said thank you so much, and kissed his cheek. He was gone on her immediately. They spent every day together after that, up until a year later in third grade when he'd finally built up the courage to kiss her for real. She'd pushed him away and told him that girls didn't like other girls

like that (not that Lance was even a girl to begin with) and to never talk to her again.

Despite the disappointing way his first love had fizzled out, it never stopped him from falling in love again, and again, after that. Another girl in fifth grade, and his first crush on another boy in seventh, when they immigrated to America. Nothing ever came of his feelings until high school, when he was fourteen and met his first girlfriend, Malia. He fell in love with her when she told him about her dad - another story for another time - and they were together until Lance finally started wearing a binder to school. Despite their nasty finish, Lance didn't regret loving her. She'd shown him how it felt to be on the other side of being in love, to have it reciprocated, and he would be eternally grateful to her.

Again and again, Lance fell in love, was rewarded and hurt for it in turns, and never got any more cautious. Sometimes it was a girl, sometimes a boy, sometimes neither. Sometimes it was one person and sometimes it was several. He couldn't help it.

It mattered every single time, in different ways.

When he fell in love with Hunk, he didn't expect anything to come out of it. They were roommates their first year at the garrison, both of them freshly graduated and ready to start the rest of their lives as a pilot and engineer respectively, and hit it off immediately. Lance told himself that he wouldn't let himself get carried away, that he was fine with just being Hunk's best friend.

It didn't last long. Lance fell hard, fast, and lasted exactly four months before everything came out in a childish burst of emotion. It was angry, and scared, but Hunk was nothing if not patient with him.

By some kind of miracle, Hunk had taken his face so gently in his hands and kissed him. It wasn't like the kisses you see in the movies, with teeth clashing and rain soaking them through their clothes. It was the softest thing he'd ever felt and when Hunk pulled away, his eyes were wet.

"I wish you had just told me," Hunk had said.

Lance kept falling in love after that, whether it was further and further with Hunk, or with someone else entirely. It even happened a little bit with Pidge, when he met her (and a little bit more when he learned she was just like him).

Lance had too much of himself to give, but Hunk never held it against him.

"It's not, like, evil to love more than one person. As long as everyone's happy and the relationship is equal, you can love as many people as you need."

Three years later, in the unforgiving loneliness of space, he kept Hunk's words close to his heart. He whispered them in his mind every time Keith looked at him.

Hunk knew, even if Lance hadn't said anything yet. He knew Lance as well as he knew himself, and at this point in their relationship, of course he could immediately identify the signs. Lance was falling in love again and there was nothing either of them could do to slow it down, let alone stop it entirely.

"What are you gonna do about Keith?" Hunk asked, finally, one night.

They were both naked, sweaty, and heaving in an aftermath, with Hunk curled up against his boyfriend's bare side. Lance's hands stilled where they'd been idly playing with his hair.

 

"I guess I'm really obvious, huh?"

"Not to anyone who doesn't know you. I could only tell because I've watched it happen before."

 

Lance hummed. Hunk sat up enough to lean his weight on one arm, and turned his head so he could look at his boyfriend. He might've expected Lance to look away from him, but he met his eyes with a steady gaze, neither cowed nor challenging. Just resigned.

"Tell me about it," Hunk pressed. Lance took a deep breath, and closed his eyes.

"I don't know, dude. I think it's been since the Garrison. Like, I'm pretty sure this has been building ever since I met him."

"When did you realize?"

"Maybe a month ago?" Lance blew out a big breath of air and opened his eyes again, started picking at a loose thread in their sheets. "He - I ran into him, in the greenhouse. I didn't even know this place had a greenhouse, but I found it and he was there. He was in there, like, trimming this plant or something. He looked so..."

Hunk watched Lance's face soften, the way it did when he told Hunk he loved him, the way it did when he talked about his mom or his sisters. It only lasted a second before it crumbled away and Lance was staring at him with watery, wide eyes.

"Hey, no, come here," Hunk whispered, sitting up fully and opening his arms for Lance to come into. "It's fine, dude. It's perfectly fine."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I should've expected it."

Lance's arms squeezed tighter around him, "What does that mean?"

Hunk stayed quiet for a long moment, and Lance let him take his time, think of the right words. He didn't want to blurt anything out that would make Lance uncomfortable or embarrassed, but he wasn't sure what exactly he could say to get his point across other than the cold, perfect truth.

"I think we both knew you were gonna feel like this about him eventually."

* * *

 

Hunk was a good boyfriend, which meant he would do anything short of compromising his own well being in their relationship to make Lance happy. Thankfully, in this situation, helping Lance deal with his feelings for Keith wouldn't compromise him. He was secure in their feelings for each other, and whatever may happen with Keith, he and Lance would always have each other.

If Keith felt the same, Hunk would just have to share.

The conversation with Lance about his feelings had been a long, slightly frustrating one, but eventually, Hunk had managed to reassure his boyfriend that it was okay, that Hunk wasn't upset or jealous or betrayed. That Lance being in love with Keith didn't negate how he felt for Hunk. They'd talked for hours about it, and eventually:

"What if he doesn't even like me back?" Lance cried, angry, unsure.

"What if he does, though? Didn't you learn your lesson with me?"

"It's not the same."

"It's exactly the same."

That had been a week ago. Now they were all on the training deck, taking turns sparring, with Hunk and Shiro currently on the mat. He was mostly focused on Shiro, because Hunk might've had several pounds on him, but man, the guy was fast - faster than he should've been with that bulky torso and metal arm. Hunk was on the defensive, using every breath of energy to retreat and stall until he could figure out how to take him down. Every few seconds, though, he caught sight of everyone else, standing on the far side of the room watching them.

Everyone except Lance and Keith.

He saw them, standing closer than they usually did, with Lance leaned into Keith's space talking quietly and Keith listening intently, an indecipherable expression on his face.

A glowing purple fist interrupted the sight. He shouted in surprise and leapt away.

"Pay attention, Hunk!" Allura yelled, "You can ogle the Blue Paladin when you aren't in the middle of battle!"

"I'd hardly call this battle," Hunk grumbled, trying to find a moment to look back at Lance, to see what was going on.

"Underestimating me?" Shiro laughed, aiming a vicious punch at his stomach. Hunk blocked it with his shield, but only barely.

"No, it's just - I mean, you're not exactly going to gravely injure, or dare I say, vanquish me. You're Shiro! You care about me too much."

"You need to take this seriously," He warned.

"I am, I just - oof!"

Shiro's arm finally caught up to him, right in his stomach, where he'd just barely missed blocking, leading him to believe that maybe Shiro pulled punches more than they all thought.

 

He went down hard onto his knees, clutching his gut.

"Maybe if you'd been paying attention, you'd've caught that."

"Don't even try to convince me I could've caught that," he wheezed. Shiro didn't answer, only smirked.

"Alright, you two," Allura sighed, as Shiro held out a hand to help Hunk back to his feet, "You're done for now. Pidge, Keith, you two - where did they go?"

Allura's bewildered tone had Hunk and Shiro both looking toward the rest of the group, smaller than it'd been, and blatantly lacking a red or blue Paladin.

* * *

 

Hunk had his mouth on Lance, between his thighs, when Lance finally told him what happened. He was breathless, but Hunk couldn't say with certainty that he was the reason for it.

"I told Keith."

Hunk pulled his face away and wiped off his chin, and Lance pulled his legs up to his chest and hugged them.

"What'd he say?"

"He said he'd have to think about it. He asked a lot of questions."

"Like what?"

Lance sighed, shrugged, and let his head fall back in a hard thump against the wall. Hunk clicked his tongue, shuffling over to sit next to Lance and curl a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him into his chest. Lance went boneless, like Hunk's touch had chased the fight from him.

"I don't know. He asked about you, how you felt about everything. He asked if you liked him, too, or if it was just me. He also asked me what I wanted from him."

"And what did you say?"

"I told him you encouraged me to go after him, that I didn't know if you liked him, or not, and that..." He paused, tensing up again, just slightly.

"It's okay, Lance," Hunk reminded him, softly.

"I just told him that I wanted to try, with him, and then he said he'd have to think about it and left. He didn't look mad, though."

"I doubt he would've been mad, Lance."

"Well!" Lance huffed, "It's Keith, okay? I was worried."

Hunk laughed, and when Lance puffed up like he was going to pout, Hunk derailed him by turning more fully toward him and attacking his face and temple with quick little kisses. Lance squirmed, and laughed, so Hunk kept going until his lips hit Lance's mouth instead of the smooth skin of his cheeks, and they spent the next few moments enjoying each other.

"Do you?" Lance asked a few minutes later, from underneath him. Hunk pulled his mouth away from his chest to answer.

"Do I what?"

"...Like Keith."

Keith was a great guy, but Hunk was always so focused on Lance when it came to loving someone that he'd never even really thought about it. Well, that was a lie. When he'd realized Lance was in love with their Red Paladin, Hunk had spared a quiet night to contemplating him, wondering what it would be like to be with Lance, and Lance be with Keith. Maybe he'd thought that it would be easier if it were all three of them, instead of just Lance with them both.

"...I don't know," He answered truthfully. "I might, but I don't really think about those things."

Lance frowned. "That doesn't make any sense. How do you not know if you like someone?"

"Not everyone is as in tune with their heart as you are, Lance. I didn't even know how I felt about you until you confessed, and I realized how happy it made me."

Try as he might, Lance couldn't fight back a fond smile, one that Hunk mirrored readily. He even offered up a soft little kiss.

"Alright, you big lug. If you say so.” He cleared his throat. “Maybe... Maybe you should talk to Keith, too, though."

"If you want me to."

"Not just 'cause I want you to," Lance frowned, "You just—I don't know. If Keith and I have a thing, it'd be a lot easier if you two can find something, too."

"That's mighty manipulative of you, Lance," Hunk laughed, laughing even harder when Lance swatted his arm. "Violent, too! Who did I fall in love with?"

"Shut up," Lance huffed, trying to hide his laugh. He leaned up and kissed Hunk again, with Hunk melting into the touch, his hips shifting restlessly against Lance's. Hunk pulled away long enough to answer him.

"I'll talk to him tomorrow."

Then he dove back in.

* * *

 

Hunk found Keith in the training room the next day, during the Paladins' allotted free time, taking his feelings out on the training bot. His hair was tied back, and he'd shed his shirt (but not his gloves). So he'd been training for a while.

Hunk cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted out to him, making Keith stumble mid-jab and fall gracelessly to his knees. The impact was loud enough that Hunk winced, even further when Keith wheezed out the order to end the training sequence.

"Hey, Hunk," He sighed, his tone resigned.

"Hey! How long have you been training, you look wrecked!"

Keith shrugged, and brushed his sweat-damp bangs out of his face, taking a moment to catch his breath. Unbidden, Hunk's eyes found his bare torso.

_Do I like him?_

"I guess you wanna talk about what Lance said?" Keith asked, straightforward as always. When Hunk sheepishly confirmed this, Keith sighed again and nodded, "Alright, lemme just grab my shirt and go shower real fast. I'll meet you in your room... if that's okay."

"Of course it's okay."

Hunk tried to smile, to settle some of Keith's nerves, but it didn't seem to do anything but make him more frazzled. His face went the slightest red and he refused to look at Hunk's eyes while he fetched his shirt and left.

Hunk was left staring after him, suddenly dreading the coming conversation. Keith didn't seem like he was all that happy about these new developments, and whether that was purely due to Lance's confession, or Hunk's presence in the situation, he didn't know.

Love made him brave, though, and Lance had asked him to do this.

The walk back to his room was nerve-wracking despite his decision to go through with The Talk, and sitting in his room, waiting on his messy bed and staring at the far wall like it could save him from the oncoming storm, that was even more so. He made it back to his room with enough time to spare for worrying, which was what he was good at, after all. It left him gripping his knees and trying to calm his heart, talking fast in his head as he attempted to figure out something to say.

When the time came, and there was a knock at the door, he wasn’t any closer to knowing how to begin. What did he say?

_I might like you. Lance definitely likes you. It’d be fine if you dated and maybe even more fine if we did, too._

“Yeah, you can come in.”

There was a second long delay before his door actually slid open. Keith looked even more nervous than he did, somehow. Seeing his worried face and flushed cheeks seemed to make Hunk a little braver, so he patted his bed and told him to come in, shut the door, we gotta talk.

“About Lance, right?” Keith asked softly, unnecessarily.

“Yeah,” He confirmed.

“He told me you… wanted us to date,” Keith started carefully. He walked further into the room, but didn’t sit down right away - not until Hunk just stared him down, not giving in and refusing to speak until they were on even ground. It took two full minutes before Keith was sighing and settled on the bed.

“I want what makes Lance happy. If that means you two together, then I’m fine with it.”

“That makes no sense.”

Hunk shrugged, “Not to you, I guess, but you haven’t known him as long as I have.”

“But isn’t it weird?” Keith asked, sounding slightly frustrated. He drew up one leg and twisted so that he was facing Hunk completely, and Hunk did the same, giving Keith his full attention, “That your boyfriend wants to date someone else? Like you aren’t enough?”

“That’s not what this is.”

“Of course it is! And, what, I’m gonna say yes and start dating him while he’s dating you and then later, down the road, he’s gonna get bored and want a third boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever, and we’re gonna have to be okay with it?”

Hunk frowned - this was getting really judgmental. “Keith-”

“No! How is that okay? People are meant to be with one person, the person they love, and if you aren’t happy enough with that person then you shouldn’t be together.”

He might've gone on, had Hunk not stood up with such a force, had he not rounded on his teammate with a fierce, protective look in his eyes, the angriest he'd ever seen Hunk get. He might've gone on, but Hunk beat him to it.

"That's not fair," He said in a steady voice, glaring, trembling with emotion. "You - What do you actually know about us, or Lance, or how he feels? Just because he confessed to you, you think he's gotten bored of me? That he isn't happy with me?"

Keith's eyes got wide. He looked like he was panicking, trying to figure out what he could say to take it back, to change directions. Hunk didn't give him the chance.

"Lance is in love with me, he's happy with me. We're happy together, Keith, and we'll be happy together whether you accept how he feels about you or not. His heart will break a little but I'll help him through it, and we'll still love each other.

"It's not like he just decided I wasn't enough for him, and started going after you. You can—Lance can love more than one person. You don't just fall in love with one person your whole life and that's the person you're destined to be with forever. Lance's heart is so big, dude, bigger than—than any other person's heart. He falls in love really quickly and sometimes it's with more than one person, but that doesn't make it bad or less real."

"Hunk, that's not what I meant-"

"What else could you have possibly meant?" Hunk asked, throwing his hands out, watching Keith flinch and bringing them back into his body very quickly. However mad he was at Keith, he didn't want to scare him. He needed to calm down.

"Just that... Well, what else am I supposed to think? Isn't it kind of like cheating?" Keith stammered out, cheeks a glaring red, like he was confused, and embarrassed, and didn't understand anything at all.

"Have you really never heard of polygamy before?"

"Of course I have!"

"Then what are you confused about?" Hunk asked, exasperated. Keith shrugged and drew his feet up onto the bed so he could hug his arms around them.

"Nothing. A lot of stuff, I guess."

"Whatever you're confused about, you need to sort it out before you go anywhere near Lance's feelings for you, or whatever you feel about him," Hunk said, backing off a little and running a hand through his hair, "This isn't something he needs to hear, okay? I've spent a lot of time to convince him he isn't a horrible person for stuff like this."

He waited for Keith to answer, but the other just shrugged and turned his cheek into his knees, blatantly dismissing Hunk even though it was his bed, in his room. Hunk decided he'd torn into him enough to day, that he could give him a little time to think about things by himself.

He heard a big, shuddering sigh from the other before he'd had a chance to shut the door behind him.

 

* * *

 

Hunk only realized later that he'd never had a chance to tell Keith he possibly, maybe, probably, liked him, too.

 

* * *

 

"So... Keith won't talk to me," Lance said that night, when they were squeezed into a blanket together, staring up at the stars, "Do you know what that's about?"

Hunk bit his lip. Lance stared at him until he sighed, and pointedly didn't meet his eyes.

"We talked, like you said."

"And?"

"And Keith was raised in the south, with a bunch of families with different views, and he doesn't understand the concept of dating two people at once."

Hunk could see Lance frowning out of the corner of his eye, and held him tighter against where he was leaned against his side.

"You didn't explain it to him?"

"...No. I mean, I was going to, but I might've... gotten a little upset."

Lance sighed, and Hunk finally chanced looking at him. He looked resigned, and a little worried, and a little amused.

“So I guess it’s probably not gonna happen, hm?”

Hunk felt like garbage when he heard the utter lack of surprise in Lance’s tone. Of course he had to go completely mess up any chance Lance could have with Keith by getting in his face and being all defensive, he should’ve just calmly explained, and told him that he liked him, and then maybe now Lance would be smiling and holding Keith’s hand and maybe Keith might’ve been holding _Hunk’s_ -

“Hunk, I know that look. You gotta breathe, babe.”

“Don’t be nice to me,” He said, and yeah, his breath was coming in a little shallow.

“Sorry, no can do. I love you, I gotta be nice to you,” Lance teased, wiping strands of Hunk’s bangs away from the part of his forehead his headband didn’t protect. His voice got a little more somber when he continued, “It’s not your fault, if things turn out bad. I know you, and you don’t get angry for dumb reasons. If you yelled at Keith, he probably deserved it.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be all dazed with affection for him?”

Lance snorted. “No way. He’s still Keith.”

Somehow, more than anything, hearing those words made everything feel a little bit lighter in Hunk’s chest. He had kind of thought that, maybe, somehow, Lance wasn’t going to suddenly take Keith’s side, or defend him over Hunk, or whatever dumb, heteronormative, polyphobic internalized nonsense was currently tumbling around in his brain. Lance’s face got quieter, kinder, like he knew exactly what Hunk was thinking.

“You’re still my number one, Smitty.”

Hunk groaned. “ _Stop_.”

“I won’t!” Lance laughed, and tackled him in a hug that barely budged him, but he pretended had knocked him to the ground.

Things weren’t okay, because Lance was hurting, and Hunk was guilty, and Keith was confused, and none of them were really talking to each other, but when Lance tightened his hold where his arms were snug around Hunk’s neck, and kissed his way down Hunk’s face by doing little more than pressing his smile into his skin. When he did that, and Hunk could feel the knots in his stomach slowly unfurling into butterflies, he thought that, for now, that was fine. Things were just fine.

 

* * *

 

It was only a couple of days later that Keith found them in the med bay after a battle, Lance patching up Hunk’s surface wounds by kissing every single one he could find, both of them laughing in between each little peck. The mood abruptly sobered once he’d cleared his throat and made himself known.

Lance’s hand found Hunk’s immediately and squeezed. “Hi.”

"Hey,” Keith mumbled, looking at Lance, then their linked hands, then at Hunk. “I… Hey.”

“Hey, Keith,” Hunk sighed.

Wow, talk about awkward.

“I’d… really like to talk, if that’s okay,” Keith mumbled, his cheeks red. His fingers were rubbing together, nails picking at his cuticles, thumb extending before pulling back, over and over. Like he wanted to touch something, grind his hands into the surface until they hurt.

“To who?” Lance asked.

“To both of you.” He replied.

Hunk and Lance glanced over at one another at the same time, Lance’s eyes wide and nervous and so, so sad, and Hunk’s probably betraying the weariness he could feel in himself at that moment. He didn’t want Lance to hear any of the things Keith had accused him of, but it wasn’t as though it was his place to deny him.

“Yeah,” Lance finally acquiesced, “That’d be okay.”

Hunk’s wounds were superficial, but Lance insisted on wrapping and cleaning every single one before they left. Part of it was probably because he really did care, but Hunk wasn’t self-centered enough to think that a lot of it wasn’t just Lance putting off the inevitable. Keith lingered in the background of their moment, out of place, nervous, small. An unexpectedly difficult sight for Hunk.

Then, finally, Lance was tugging him out of the med bay, toward his (their) room, with Keith tagging along like a pilot fish, drawn to their current.

They had barely dropped to the bed before Keith began, forcing out his words like if he didn’t, they’d never come. He stayed standing as he spoke, while Lance and Hunk looked up at him from the edge of the mattress.

“I’ve never thought about this kind of thing before,” He started, still scratching and pulling at his fingers, “ Like, more than two people together, without it being - you know. I know that people do it, sometimes, I’ve just never understood it. I didn’t understand how relationships could be equal and mutual and supportive with three people. What if someone liked one more than another? What if one of them decided to leave, and the other two couldn’t work without them anymore? What if one of them was just - an accessory, or—”

Lance stood up, and his face was a storm of his feelings. Angry, defensive, embarrassed. He was about to speak, but Hunk caught his wrist, held on tight, and waited until he caught his breath. Then looked at Keith to continue.

Keith watched the floor.

“I— I talked to Coran, though. I’m sorry, if you guys wanted to keep it a secret, but I couldn’t work it out on my own, and I couldn’t talk to either of you because—I didn’t wanna mess up again, even more than I did before, and I’m so sorry, Hunk, for what I said—”

“It’s okay,” Hunk assured him, “Just keep going.”

“Right, okay.” Keith sucked in a deep breath. “I talked to Coran, and apparently this is a thing on Altea, like it was a thing on Earth. Three or more people being together, even getting married, or—whatever Altean equivalent Coran told me about. He said that he was also… that he’d done it before, too, and I asked him about it, to try to wrap my head around it, I guess.”

He was silent, for a long, pregnant moment, while Lance and Hunk watched him try to gather all of his thoughts. They were both patient (Lance even sat back down), because this kind of thing was difficult for Keith. Hunk didn’t think he’d ever heard him say so much at once.

He did speak, eventually, though.

“He didn’t make it sound that bad. I mean, like, he made it sound really nice. Like it could work. I think I got an idea of what it’d be like, but I know that I’m not gonna completely understand until it actually happens.”

He finally looked up, right into Lance’s eyes. Hunk could tell from the way Lance’s breath hitched, his shoulders tensed, his hand found Hunk’s and gripped almost too hard.

“You never answered my question,” Keith said. His voice was stronger, now, like he’d steeled himself. Lance was shaking slightly.

“Which one?”

“Does Hunk like me, too?”

Hunk understood why Keith’s stare had caused such a visceral reaction in his boyfriend when it finally turned to him. Keith’s eyes were the colour of a dark, city skyline, and just as vibrant, just as loud, just as striking. Hunk had no chance of looking away. He didn’t feel his shoulders tense, but he knew they had by how tightly he flinched when Lance’s hand landed hesitantly between his shoulder blades. An anchor Hunk was grateful for, in the maelstrom that had overtaken them.

Long seconds of silence passed, the three of them deafened by harsh, tense breathing, by the pounding of their own hearts. Hunk felt it all shift into place. For all the things they'd dealt with, the hardships, the wars, for every time something had disturbed the water, and despite the stones that had broken the quiet, that had forced ripples across their lives, finally, perfectly; the surface was calm.

The water was still.

 

* * *

 

“Yeah. I think I do.”

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I've decided this is going to be a series, so fear not - this isn't the end lol. look for a second installment when i can get my depressed ass to get up and write it!
> 
> kudos and comments are super appreciated !


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